Christmas

Some personal favorites..

Merry Christmas :)

mary-j, weed, pot, grass, dope, reefer, hash, cannabis, and my personal favorite: maui wowie

This phrase seems to constantly be in my mind.. 'smoke weed erey day.' It is a line out of a song and for some strange reason, because of its catchiness perhaps, it seems to roll through my mind quite often. I haven't ever really though about the reality of that phrase. There are many people that I know that do this exact thing, smoke weed every day. Three of them happen to be my siblings. The other night I asked my brother if I could use his car to drive to DQ with Erin. He said that his girlfriend was on her way over but that they were going to go drive around while they smoked pot and on the way he could drop Erin and I off at DQ.... offer declined. Sunday night I went out to dinner with my sister and a friend of hers, Jeff. While at the restaurant they started talking about how that night we were going to go home to play Wii and they were going to smoke pot. I told Sam that it would make me really uncomfortable. She said that they would just do it in the computer room. Jeff asked what about it would make me feel uncomfortable and I explained that everything would. These are grown adults. They are both in their 30s with careers. Please, grow the eff up. My goodness. You are not in high school anymore. Am I judging you? Yes, completely. Don't complain about your lack of money when you spend $5 a day on cigarettes, who knows how much on pot and alcohol. Wow, I got carried away.
Later in the conversation I mentioned to Sam how she said we would go to the light fest. Her friend Jeff joked, "well, you are going to have to go in the cab of the truck while your sister and I smoke." Whaaaaaaaaat. No way buddy. I said, "or you guys can just control yourselves for one night." He responded, "it's not about controlling ourselves, it is about whether we want to or not." Yeah, I am sure that is what it is about. Selfish? As we were leaving they continued to talk about getting high once we got back to Sam's. I snapped at Jeff and left the table. Sam walked after me and by this time I was crying. She said "wow, that was rude Katie." I turned around and faced her. She saw that I was crying and I said "Sam, just take me home if you are going to smoke. I will not be around it; I will not be around you when you are high." She came up to me and said it was all a joke. I know it wasn't. Sam isn't the bad guy, neither is Jeff. There was no "bad guy" in this situation. It is just me and what I want to be around and how I react when reality hits... Wow, no, I am not in Utah anymore. Wow, nobody else in my family holds my standards. Wow, my sister is always pressuring me to break them. They just don't know, they just don't know how I am. Have I become weak and unable to handle the world since moving to Utah? I don't think so... I think I have just become more sensitive to promptings from the Spirit. I know it was the Spirit that made me feel this way. I know the Heavenly Father was there watching over me and helping me stand up to my sister. I know this Church is true and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen...

Carried away again, but you know what I mean. I am grateful for my time spent in Utah. I am grateful that these things get to me; I hope they always do. That way I know I am doing the right things.



Eh.....
Merry Christmas?
yeah... Merry Christmas

creeeeeepster

Funniest thing ever:
So my friend Andre told me this story about his sister. She was sitting in the library at UVU when a boy walked up to her and dropped a note on her table and said that it was from his friend, then he walked away. This is what the note said:
"Lets start this note off with a little story. There once was a little innocent mouse who humbley went about his day to day chores. As he was working he saw this beautiful young mouse pass by him, and he sighed and gasped in his heart wondering if he could ever hang out with her. He thought he'd leave it up to her so he scrounged up all the confidence he had and left her a note saying if she approved she would leave him her number before she left."
wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Apprarently Andre's sister immediately stood up and walked out of the library. That boy must have been watching her the whole time she read it. That is just way creepy. I think I would have stood up and peaced out as well. A humble mouse? wtf?
Has anyone else had something this creepy done to them? I need stories.

Blood.

Yes- This post has the same name as Kaylie's... I even put the period after the word blood. I am a thief.

I can't stop watching Dexter. Thank goodness I finished this season... because I have 1 paper due and 4 tests in the upcoming week, one of them is a final... great.
But... there are still so many episodes I have to catch up on from season one.
Seriously, this guy is brilliant. I know that a serial killer isn't usually one's hero, but hey, we all loved the guys in Boondock Saints, right?
I know I have explained this show to everyone I have ever met, but I just need to get this down in writing.
Dexter is amazing. When this guy was 3 his mother was killed with a chainsaw right in front of his eyes. He sat in 2 inches blood for three days until the police came. The man who adopted him was the police officer who rescued him. He detected in Dexter psychotic tendencies. He realized that Dexter would kill, so he taught him who to kill and gave him a code to live by. As Dexter unravels his past he veers off the code and creates a path for himself. This man, Dexter, does not feel emotions.. He has a girlfriend, but just because she is damaged like him. As viewers we watch him develop feelings and not know how to deal with them. He may be a serial killer, but he only kills those who he knows have murdered others. He is a baller. Plus, you get to see him murder people some times.
Well...
I am happy that I got this out.
I freakin' love this show...
Although it has taken away the sting I developed when I heard the f word.
Eh... is it worth it?
As of now.... yes.
shhhhh

Shady Ian

I will win, we will win... Ian will not win.
We got him back tonight.
I called him and invited him to come over and watch The Office, that is what friends do right? Hang out with their other friends?
But no, Ian brought a cup of water to dump on us.
Shady shadester.
We didn't let him in until he dumped it out.
"I swear I am in my bedroom." Lies... all lies.
Brooke goes to Ian's apartment to be a distracter.
Katie comes over with a glass of water and dumps it down the back of his sweatshirt.
Sweet, oh sweet, revenge.
Most unfortunately Brooke knocked her head on the way out...
But I did not.
It was great.
:)

Dairy Queen

Today I showed Brooke a picture of me and some other girls from my freshman homecoming. She had no idea which one was me. This is ironic since I have looked the exact same since I was 1 1/2 years old. Actually, I am not sure if that is ironic, I am not an english major, but whatever. At that homecoming the dress I was wearing was a size 1... yes folks, 6 years ago I wore a size 1. It was probably a splendid period of my life. As my high school years passed I started gaining weight, just the normal weight of growing. Suddenly it was my junior year and I needed to get a job. I applied to both Dairy Queen and Play it Again Sports. I was called first into Dairy Queen for my interview. This interview entailed receiving a hat and shirt and being shown around the back. No questions, no we'll call you back, automatic hiring. Later I was called into the Play it Again Sports for a similar process; they wanted to hire me as well! Wow was I desirable or what? I told them I had already received a job but thank you so much. Where did I actually want to work? Truthfully probably Play it Again because the pay was better, but I felt bad so I ended up working at the local DQ. My dad told me I shouldn't work at Dairy Queen; "You know how much you like ice cream Katie, this is a bad idea." Psh... I can control myself dad; do you really think that low of me? I am a liar. I could in no way control myself. Seriously, I became the biggest fatty mc fat fat to walk on this Earth upon my employment at the DQ. Lack of self control is a serious understatement. And that is the story of how I got way fat my junior and senior years of high school.

And thanks to my freshman year of college and every night being brownie night I added on another pants size to that. You rock brownies!

Missionaries

Today I got another e-mail from Mckay's mom... a forward of his letter. He is growing up so much and he said his Spanish is just improving so fast. He is really learning to rely on the Lord. My favorite thing about the letters is the fact that his grammar is so horrible in it.. wow.
My favorite part of this letter:
"i have one request por favor! please send me candy! the food here sucks in everyway. the best thing i have had is cow tounge and it was actually really good but everything else sucks. i just want a box of candy and altoids in there too. if you send it soon it will be here around christmas anyways. haha"
Maybe I will send him a package full of candy as well... but probably not.
What a good boy, how I do miss my best friend.
Plus he and his companion were teaching people in an alley and these guys walked up to them with a knife... :
"dad i know ur going to recieve this first so this sory if for you then you can delete it so mom cant read it. the other nihgt we were teaching this lady in the street back in a ally and making a return appt and this guy was behind me and my comp noticed him and i could see in my side vision and he had a knife out waiting for us to get done. i was like oh crap. i have tought my comp english phrases so if theres somthin going on he can say it real quick and the people wont know whats going on. well the guy was waiting for us and whistling for him gang to come well we just kept the conversation rolling and waited for a good time. the guy trued and walked up the street for a sec and right when we saw that we just booked it! it scared the crap out of me."
That is so frightening especially because of that missionary in Australia that was stabbed.
I am so grateful for the missionaries... the things they do daily, just a complete devotion to the Lord and his work... amazing.

Thank you to all pre/current/post missionaries :)

Lamest super power ever

Being able to see through clothes... of only ugly people.

Revolution

I love that the pit in a nectarine is purple.. it makes the fruit so much better.
I have been really sad lately and I don't know why.
Actually I do know why and it is all my fault, but I can't help it, I can't stop myself.
I guess I could stop myself if I really wanted to but maybe basking in the past is worth being sad.
Actually it isn't.
I didn't mean to say why I was sad, oh well.
What if what if what if.........
That is a bad idea.
I tell Gabby to not say what if.
It wouldn't have worked anyway, there is no way.
Perfect?
No, changed too much; forced too much.
According to my dad all my problems can be solved by running. All of a sudden I won't hate science anymore and I will want to major in microbiology.
I won't be homesick and I won't want to be around you anymore.
But he was wrong about the last part.
The more I run the more you are there.
My brother feels that nobody knows who he really is.
Does anyone know who I really am?
Most certainly no one in my family, which is sad.
I think Erin does though, I think she is the only one who will be able to interpret this mess.
Revolution?
Think Ron Paul... you got it.
Is the revolution lost? Is it lost forever? Did the revolution exist?
The mannerisms, the smile, the attitude, so desired.
I cut down. Less than a pack a day. Then I forced myself to start again.
Do I want to study for math? No, not at all....
Failure.
If you do understand this don't tell me..
Unless you live outside the state of Utah.
Now I have nectarine stuck in my teeth.

List

Campus-
I never want to be on you for 12 hours ever again... that's what she said
Math-
I never want to do you for 4 hours straight again... see above
Chocolate-
I would like to eat a piece of you every day.
Book of Mormon-
You bring me comfort, thank you for that.
George Foreman-
I really love making delicious sandwiches on your grills.
Gone With the Wind-
You are my favorite book.
Lil' Wayne-
I have been loving your music lately... even though you say some really nasty things.
Africa-
Hey!
Gabby-
You are such a good friend. Keep on reading the above mentioned book; you will discover truths and happiness beyond measure... and I don't mean Gone With the Wind.
iTunes-
Stop having music that I want to buy.
Cable-
Please come to my television so I can watch it.
Ice Cream-
You are delicious.
Capture the Flag-
Stop having people cry over you.
Hair-
Thank you for not being pink any longer.
Weekend-
I would really like to enjoy you, we will see if I take any tests.
Cell Phone-
You are a handy tool for creeping people out, thanks for working.
Teriyaki Stix-
Please taste better next time.
That is all.

Overanalyze

I shouldn't be writing this blog, I should be studying for chemistry...
Brenden wrote on my wall the other day. Why do I put so much thought into a little facebook post? I was just so taken aback. Let's go through how I over analyzed this.
1. He was looking at my profile. *gasp*
2. It was actually a nice post... surprise coming from him.
3. He was looking at my profile!!!!!!!!!
4. He had to have seen how happy I am with my friends.
5. I haven't been thinking about him as often as I used to.. good thing!
6. I need to come up with something witty but not look like I was trying too hard to write back.

Kaylie and I talked about it for a while. When you love someone or even care about them tremendously they always have that part of you. I was so invested in Brenden that when things ended I was frayed. The part of me that was invested in him will always be with him, whether he knows it or not. I have learned to grow and replace that missing piece with the friends I have made here and the people that I have begun to care about and just in the changes I have made in the person I am since I have moved out to Utah. One day I will meet the person that will be it for me. Even though I know that I will love this person more than life itself, there will still be that chunk that is with Brenden. But, that doesn't really bother me because I know that I will be able to invest all of me that is still a part of me into the person that will mean forever.
I think that my relationship with Brenden represented a period of my life. He was the transition for me from high school to college. He brought out from within me the ability to care for and even love another. That is good.
But, now I am in another part of my life and that transition stage is far behind. I would never take back the things that I learned from Brenden and the experiences we shared... but I recognize that that is gone.
This is good.
By the way, the post I wrote in response was both witty and clever, and sexy, did I mention sexy?

the gas, the break, the pedal

Outstanding day today. Today I woke up and talked to D'Angelo on the phone, which was fantastic. Went shopping, mailed back my phone, picnic in the park, dominated at frisbee/football ;).. You know. the norm. I took a chem quiz and even finished my chem homework.. Trey came over and we had story time then went to see Forever Strong.. On the way out of the apartment he was stopped by three different girls (are you LJ's brother?!!!!!!!!!!!!) Yes, he is... That's more people than I know in Enclave. Get to the movie... it's okay... Quite a bit of overacting, a little cheesy, but whateve.... what was I really expecting? After.. "Trey.. you should let me drive your car." Wouldn't think he would fall for it a second time would ya? Well.. all we had to do was go get some Denny's first. Denny's at midnight... and he got the largest meal there... When it came out I was floored... I even stated that there was no way he could finish it... he took on the challenge. The bet: If he finished every single thing (which included two giant pancakes, two eggs, two pieces of bacon, two pieces of sausage, two pieces of ham, two pieces of toast as well as hash browns) then I would have to jump into the pool via the zip line, fully clothed... If he couldn't finish the meal then I could call him up and say "Hey, I need your car, bring it over so I can use it" :) I underestimated the Tongan in him. Of course he finished the whole meal.. and then continued to eat what I couldn't finish of mine.. This kid is legit. After our Denny's adventure we went to the football stadium parking lot so I could practice my manual driving. WOW... I was so much better over the summer... this was unreal. Well, we had a couple of rules 1. No screaming from me 2. No turning down the music... that was basically it. I had a couple of good starts... the rest blew. I can't even explain it, I felt like an idiot... I swear, ask my brother, I was good over the summer. Well... after about an hour of this I was done... so he drove me home.. Awkward goodbye just how we like it... and now I am writing this blog about my amazing day.
But seriously... I was really good over the summer.

Heart?

This day was quite odd... Kaylie and I went to the Italian Idol... which sucked by the way... and I just hurt for some reason. I think that LJ being real finally clicked in my mind... Up to that point he hadn't really been anything other than an idea. Last night talking some things over with Kaylie I realized that I was so desirous to have what she and LJ had, that I unconsciously thought the only way I could get that was to like someone that was similar to LJ... and we know who that was. Last night I realized that I don't really like this person.. But now that we are off of that tangent this is the point of this post. Sitting in Italian Idol I looked at Kaylie's phone and saw her background which was of her and LJ. While I was looking at her phone someone was singing a love song in Italian... so my feelings weren't completely bizarre. For some reason I was aching inside. Perhaps it was because this boy singing dedicated the song to his "special someone"... but I really think it was because of the picture. I think I really just hurt for Kaylie. How hard must it be to be so in love with someone, yet they are across the world for two whole years? At the same time you are expected to date and have fun, yet you can't stop thinking about this person. Eventually this person just becomes an idea to you as well... Clinging to an idea is not nearly as easy as clinging to a person. I have nothing but Respect for Kaylie.... oh dear, I love her.

Post one

This is my blog. Kaylie made me make one. It is going to be the best blog ever. Yesterday Carrie dyed part of my hair pink. I hope I can take tests in the testing center... kind of.
Just kidding, this is going to be a really bad blog. All my friends write really interesting things.. mine is going to be me complaining mostly. I want to watch Atonement again. Jenna really loves that movie. The first time I saw it the entire time I was contemplating whether I liked it or not, in the end I decided I liked it. I wish that I could look into the future and see what I am going to major in and what my career is going to be and who I am going to marry, that way I don't have to waste my time and stress out. I feel as though I never take things as they come. I always want to know what the end of the road will be, I never take time to realize that the journey is the whole point of it. I feel as though the end will never come and if I keep just waiting for the end to come then I will never experience anything ever. I was looking at my mom's myspace the other day and there was a picture on there of my parents and I on my graduation day. The sky was blue, the grass was so green and wonderful and it was so sunny. Marcum left a comment that said "those shoe's look quite uncomfortable.....cute family though...real nice grass too...hopefully you took a good moment and sat down on it" Until now something like that hasn't ever really struck me. The grass does look so great, it would have been amazing to have taken a nap on it, but I didn't. That whole day was just a rush to get ready, to get to pictures, to get to the ceremony... And to what point? The event happened, I reached "the end"... but there will always be another end... Unless I stop take a nap in the grass my life is going to amount to nothing. Sure I may have reached a lot of ends, but who cares? If I don't stop for just one second and freakin' take a nap... I don't know. That is one thing I really admire Brenden about. How he is very laid back and always wanting to experience things, not just be apart of them. Maybe my trying to be what he wanted me to be will have paid off... maybe I will someday soon be able to take a nap in the grass.