Heart?

This day was quite odd... Kaylie and I went to the Italian Idol... which sucked by the way... and I just hurt for some reason. I think that LJ being real finally clicked in my mind... Up to that point he hadn't really been anything other than an idea. Last night talking some things over with Kaylie I realized that I was so desirous to have what she and LJ had, that I unconsciously thought the only way I could get that was to like someone that was similar to LJ... and we know who that was. Last night I realized that I don't really like this person.. But now that we are off of that tangent this is the point of this post. Sitting in Italian Idol I looked at Kaylie's phone and saw her background which was of her and LJ. While I was looking at her phone someone was singing a love song in Italian... so my feelings weren't completely bizarre. For some reason I was aching inside. Perhaps it was because this boy singing dedicated the song to his "special someone"... but I really think it was because of the picture. I think I really just hurt for Kaylie. How hard must it be to be so in love with someone, yet they are across the world for two whole years? At the same time you are expected to date and have fun, yet you can't stop thinking about this person. Eventually this person just becomes an idea to you as well... Clinging to an idea is not nearly as easy as clinging to a person. I have nothing but Respect for Kaylie.... oh dear, I love her.