Revolution

I love that the pit in a nectarine is purple.. it makes the fruit so much better.
I have been really sad lately and I don't know why.
Actually I do know why and it is all my fault, but I can't help it, I can't stop myself.
I guess I could stop myself if I really wanted to but maybe basking in the past is worth being sad.
Actually it isn't.
I didn't mean to say why I was sad, oh well.
What if what if what if.........
That is a bad idea.
I tell Gabby to not say what if.
It wouldn't have worked anyway, there is no way.
Perfect?
No, changed too much; forced too much.
According to my dad all my problems can be solved by running. All of a sudden I won't hate science anymore and I will want to major in microbiology.
I won't be homesick and I won't want to be around you anymore.
But he was wrong about the last part.
The more I run the more you are there.
My brother feels that nobody knows who he really is.
Does anyone know who I really am?
Most certainly no one in my family, which is sad.
I think Erin does though, I think she is the only one who will be able to interpret this mess.
Revolution?
Think Ron Paul... you got it.
Is the revolution lost? Is it lost forever? Did the revolution exist?
The mannerisms, the smile, the attitude, so desired.
I cut down. Less than a pack a day. Then I forced myself to start again.
Do I want to study for math? No, not at all....
Failure.
If you do understand this don't tell me..
Unless you live outside the state of Utah.
Now I have nectarine stuck in my teeth.